Care2 Exclusive: Gay Kiss Gets Man Barred From Partner’s Bedside
As appalling as this is, at least the grandparents stood up for them. Sliver linings.
And yes, there is a link to a petition after the jump.
Q.
When on July 17 Paul Zilber went to visit his fiance at Saint Barnabas Behavioral Health Center, in Toms River, New Jersey, his focus was of course on his boyfriend’s well-being. What Paul says he experienced however, was unlawful anti-gay discrimination at the hands of the center’s nursing staff.
Paul’s partner was receiving treatment at Saint Barnabas for mental health issues related to what had appeared to be a suicide attempt. Paul, 20, who was visiting at the same time as his partner’s grandparents, said that everything was fine on the day in question until a conversation with one of the nursing staff turned sour.
“Everything went okay, until a nurse who knew I was [name redacted]‘s boyfriend referred to me as his ‘friend.’ He corrected her and said that I was his partner. She replied with, ‘Oh your partner in crime?’ I said, ‘No, I’m his boyfriend, thank you.’ She then sighed and said ‘Oh… .’ She rolled her eyes, and gave me a thumbs up and walked away.”
Feeling this was inappropriate behavior from the nurse in question, Paul reported the nurse to the relevant staff, whereby he was told that it was “just a joke.” However, when Paul and his partner’s grandparents were preparing to leave for the evening, Paul alleges things turned from bad to worse.
After his partner’s grandparents both hugged and kissed his partner goodbye, Paul went to do the same. He says he was then “cornered” by two nurses who ran across the room to yell at him, “No contact, that is inappropriate.”
Paul maintains that the affection he had shown his partner was entirely appropriate for the setting. He therefore wanted to know why he was being singled out in this way.
“I then asked the nurse why it was okay for everyone else to give hugs and kisses but it was not okay for me?” Paul told Care2 he then gave his partner another kiss goodbye because the first kiss had been interrupted. “She then told another nurse to take me off his list of allowed visitors.” Not knowing how long his partner would be hospitalized for, this was obviously very distressing for Paul. ”I was very upset, and every time I would call a nurse would say, ‘I’m sorry, we have an order that we cannot speak to you, and that he cannot speak to you.’”
Paul says he was told some days later that he would be allowed to visit his partner, but the olive branch was conditional: ”I was then told, ‘He can come back if he promises to be appropriate.’ At that point, I walked out of the hospital,” he said.
Paul told me his partner’s grandparent, who witnessed the incident, also found it distressing, reportedly challenging the nursing staff, “Why are you harassing these two young men?”
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