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Priya M Menon, TNN Feb 16, 2013, 06.04AM IST
CHENNAI: When news of the brutal rape of a 23-year-old in the nation’s capital broke, it brought Vinodhan’s ghosts back to life. A few days after the woman died, he sat down at his computer and typed: ‘I am a rape survivor’.
Vinodhan was gang raped by six men at the age of 18. Even though it occurred 12 years ago, he is still scared of sleeping alone. He doesn’t feel safe among unknown men.
His post on the blog of Orinam, a Chennai-based support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) people and allies, rips the veil from an issue that is rarely, if ever, addressed — male rape. “The Delhi rape and discussions around it acted as a trigger for me to write that post,” says Vinodhan.
Many male rape survivors like Vinodhan lead lives of quiet terror as they don’t get support from their families, society or police. Like him, many of them have spoken up after the Delhi rape.
“I was sexually assaulted when I was 29 in a small town in Kerala,” says Krishna. “I had got off a bus and was walking to my aunt’s house when I noticed a man following me.” In the dark lane that led to his aunt’s house, the stranger accosted him.
“The gate was locked when I reached, and the moment he realized it, he pinned me down. The sheer shock and shame at what was happening left me with no voice,” says Krishna. Finally, he called out for his uncle and escaped.
Vinodhan was gang raped when he went to meet a person he had befriended online. “What was waiting for me was something else. I was raped by six drunk men. They verbally abused me for being a homosexual, and took turns filming the whole thing,” he says. Confused, ashamed and angry, Vinodhan did not even seek medical help. “I thought everyone would blame me for hooking up,” he says. “I did not know how the police would treat a gay man.”
Krishna also didn’t speak about it to his family. “Nobody will believe that a grown man can get attacked,” he says.
In a society that celebrates masculinity, it becomes difficult for a man, straight or gay, to report rape. “They don’t have a platform to speak out. Even families don’t want to acknowledge it publicly,” says Ajay Sathyan, a counsellor.